Uggh! I'm having second thoughts about taking this job at St. John's. I'm sure a lot of it is that I just don't know what to expect. I don't know much about St. John's. I've only been there three times (one as a patient in the ER only, once to visit someone, and once for my interview). I'm worried that I'm not going to like my floor at all. It worries me that the turnover rate is so high for patients. I'm worried I won't be able to keep up and that I'll just be running around all day trying to stay afloat and that I will go crazy. I'm worried that the nurse's will eat me. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm supposed to try and be tough and stick up for myself against them...but we all know that's just not me and I'm worried that even if I try and stick up for myself that they will all gang up on me or talk about me behind my back. I hate that nurses eat their young...remind me to NEVER be that way!
I just think I may have rushed into all this because I was scared about not getting a job at all. I know a lot more about Cox and really wanted to work there more, but I jumped at any job, so I took this one. But people in my class are having interviews and getting jobs at Cox, jobs in areas that they really wanted. The excitement has worn off and I just worry that I settled and that I'm going to hate it. I really hope this is all just in my head...
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2 comments:
Hang in there Ash. I sure that even if you had a job at Cox there would still be some running around going crazy and being eaten by the older nurses. Sure you know Cox better because of your clinicals. Cox is your comfort zone. Everyone wants to stay in their comfort zones, but sometime we have to step out of them to fully experience life. Some of the best experiences of my life have been when I've stepped out of my comfort zone. (maybe not all of those times were all that great, but at least I learned from them!)
PS - There's probably a high turnover rate because you aren't there caring for them!
Don't worry Ashley... you are going to make such an amazing nurse!! Yes, starting any new job sucks at first, but you'll get the hang of it. And look at it this way- if you start at St. John's and don't really like it or find a better position opens at Cox, what is to keep you from taking that other job? You don't have to be locked in to St. John's - life is too short!
Hope everything else is going great. Love you and miss you!
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