Grandma Barnes with my dad as a baby
Grandma grew up in Peoria, Illinois and then moved to Northwest Missouri a little bit later in her adolescent life. She went through her fair share of hard times when her father, aunt, and uncle were all killed in a train crash when she was I think about 14. She learned how to survive through the those difficult times from her mom who had to raise her and her 2 other siblings alone and also manage to handle a farm right after the accident. But Grandma loves to tell how the entire community pitched in to help harvest corn right after her dad died. I think that may be where she learned her generosity. She frequently volunteered for things at the church and also regularly donated food and other things to the food pantry in town. She had lots of friends and loved spending time with them and just catching up on what was going on in their lives...maybe that's where I get that part of my personality and character. She and my grandpa really encouraged their kids to do better for themselves than they did and tried to give them the best they could to better their lives.
Grandma is still living in a nursing home in Maryville. She's been there for about six years now after living in an assisted living facility for about six months. Her story is a little different from the rest of my grandparents because she has Alzheimer's disease...in the late stages. I haven't gone to visit her in at least 2 years. It may be bad, but I just can't stand to go see her like that and I don't want to remember her that way (although I know it will stick with me forever). She has no idea who I am. She used to think I was my aunt or a cousin or someone related to her, but the last time I saw her she just ignored me and acted like I wasn't there because she did not recognize me at all. It was devastating to me, I knew it would happen, but it really made me so sad for not only myself, but her as well. I can't imagine the kind of darkness she's living in. I know she hates her life...she's said it before and said that she wishes she was gone. It breaks my heart to hear this and it's been something that I've really struggled with in the past...I still don't understand why she's still here and why she has to go through this and why our whole family has to go through this, but I'm trying to just trust God and leave it up to Him. I'm ready though. I've been ready for a long time for her to go to be with God, and when that does happen, I will know she is in a much better place and that she's happy. It's because of her that I'm passionate about research for Alzheimer's and
understanding all their is to kno
w about this horrible disease.I love the old Grandma Barnes. I really do want to learn how she did things in her life...unfortunately, I won't be able to ask her in person how she made her amazing homemade noodles and rolls, or her secrets to making the perfect quilts. When our family would come over for Sunday dinners, Grandma loved to cook everything for it...the ham or chicken dressing stuff, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, noodles, rolls, strawberry shortcake...everything! She was an amazing cook!! Also, I really want to learn how to quilt like 
she did. She had been doing it so long it was like second nature to her. She made quilts for each of the weddings and children in our extended family, as well as for the church bazaar and other quilts with her group at church and any requested quilts from friends or family. She even thought to make a wedding quilt for me and my brother for when we get married as well as baby quilts for our first 2 children. I hope that one day I can learn to be closer to as good as she was. She loved having our family over anytime and was especially glad whenever my brother or I would come over to spend the day with her sometimes in the summer or on holidays. She was a devout church-goer and went every Sunday and she and Grandpa would sit in the same spot every week. I learned that after she went in the nursing home, she started leading her own little group of ladies who would come into her room and she would pull out her Bible and talk with them about it. How amazing!! She really loved her kids and grandkids and wanted them to have a much better life than she had, so she did everything in her power to make sure that happened, but she didn't let them get away with a whole lot and made sure they also understood that they had to earn what they got. I remember every Memorial Day we went out to the various cemetaries in Northwest Missouri and Southwest Iowa where family members were buried. I loved hearing from Grandma the stories of these people and how they were related to us. I liked helping Grandma in the garden when she had a vegetable garden out at our house and with her peonies and magnolias at her house. Grandma was a wonderful lady who loved everyone and I'm striving to learn to be even a little bit close to her domestic abilities. I hope I can be as good a grandma as she was.
she did. She had been doing it so long it was like second nature to her. She made quilts for each of the weddings and children in our extended family, as well as for the church bazaar and other quilts with her group at church and any requested quilts from friends or family. She even thought to make a wedding quilt for me and my brother for when we get married as well as baby quilts for our first 2 children. I hope that one day I can learn to be closer to as good as she was. She loved having our family over anytime and was especially glad whenever my brother or I would come over to spend the day with her sometimes in the summer or on holidays. She was a devout church-goer and went every Sunday and she and Grandpa would sit in the same spot every week. I learned that after she went in the nursing home, she started leading her own little group of ladies who would come into her room and she would pull out her Bible and talk with them about it. How amazing!! She really loved her kids and grandkids and wanted them to have a much better life than she had, so she did everything in her power to make sure that happened, but she didn't let them get away with a whole lot and made sure they also understood that they had to earn what they got. I remember every Memorial Day we went out to the various cemetaries in Northwest Missouri and Southwest Iowa where family members were buried. I loved hearing from Grandma the stories of these people and how they were related to us. I liked helping Grandma in the garden when she had a vegetable garden out at our house and with her peonies and magnolias at her house. Grandma was a wonderful lady who loved everyone and I'm striving to learn to be even a little bit close to her domestic abilities. I hope I can be as good a grandma as she was.
1 comment:
Oh Ashley! As I read this I couldn't help but think about my grandma. She used to make quilts all the time too!...I know how it feels to hear someone you love talk about dying. It's not fun. Lately with the health issues my grandma has gone through she's been kinda the same. It makes me sad, but I know that when she does leave us she'll be with God.
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