Growing Up

I just finished up my last Spring Break at home. It's all a little surreal and crazy to think that I will no longer be a student in just a couple of months. I'll be on my own. Having to take charge of my life and live by my own means. Off my parents help.

Now, in my four years of college I haven't had to rely on my parents for a ton, but they do give me a little money from time to time and buy my some groceries when I'm home. But the biggest thing that is going to be an adjustment is having to deal with "grown up things"...like health insurance, car insurance, changing my permanent address, not being claimed as a dependent and thus having to deal more with taxes, etc. Like most of you, I have been sheltered and haven't had to deal with anything like this before. Now I have managed my own money since I was sixteen and my dad has made me fill out my own taxes every year...but he's always checked them for me and walked me through the process when I've made a mistake.

Also, I've felt this a little more in the last year or two, but I'm coming to realize that Maryville is no longer my place of residence. It will always be my home, but I don't have the connection to the school and most of my old classmates and friends like I used to. This week I went to my brother's choir performance at my old high school and realized that even a bunch of the teachers have changed and I am no longer a part of that aspect of the community. The teachers have changed, the students have changed, and I have changed. I am no longer the high schooler who sat in class with my close friends and pretty much kept to herself. I am not the girl who thought that she could actually stay in Maryville for much of her life. I am not the Christian girl who thought that she had a relationship with Christ and was content just doing what she'd always been doing.

I have changed. I know what I want to do and where I want to be (for as long as I feel called to be here). I know I am a blessed child of God and that my relationship with Christ is continually growing and changing. I feel closer to Him than I was last year and I hope that next year I will be closer still. It is scary to grow up and have to do things on my own, but I am not alone and never will be. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love me, encourage me, and will be willing to help me: my parents, my friends (yes, that's you guys!), Denise, Jon, the Dobyns, my aunt & uncle, my grandpa, my church family here and in Maryville, and many more. I am blessed and so happy to have these people in my life!!

(So this blog turned into something totally different than when it started...but that's cool!)

So it's been a while...

Alright, so it's been a while since my last post. Here's what I've been up to since...

• I started my community clinicals in the hospital up on 8W. It's been interesting working with the nurse manager and I'm seeing a whole different side to nursing that's beyond giving direct patient care
• I've been continuing to do just about nothing with LINK clinic for my internship
• Continuing to be disturbed and freaked out by what I'm learning/seeing in my SANE class
• Helping with the youth group at King's Way UMC
  
• Working on my portfolio & stuff for classes
• Studying...and then PASSING the Final HESI!!!
• Moving my membership from FUMC in Maryville to KWUMC here in Springfield
• Interviewing for a position at St. John's on a Cardiac unit and applying for more jobs at Cox and St. John's
• Being a part of a Lenten Bible Study through church
• Hanging out with my amazing, super, wonderful, beautiful, awesome, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious friends!!!!!!!!

And I think that's just about it!

Her Life's Legacy

Today marks one year since my dear Granny passed away from a stroke in Oklahoma City.

Don't forget.
Don't forget her laughter.
Don't forget her intense love.
Don't forget how proud she was of you.
Don't forget how forgiving she was of everyone.
Don't forget how she couldn't say no to anyone who needed help.
Don't forget how she would do ANYTHING she could for ANYONE.
Don't forget that she gave anything to everyone else, even more than she had or could afford at the time.
Don't forget how she held on until everyone could come see her one last time.
Don't forget the way she was before.

I could never forget her, but these are some things I definitely don't want to forget.

I love you Granny, always! I'm rejoicing that you are free from pain and frustrations. I'm rejoicing that you are with our Father joking with Him in Heaven!!!! I hope your cordless phone's working! :)

The Impossible

This weekend I got the opportunity to spend some time with my family in Oklahoma. I had a great time, as always, and got to see some pretty darn good high school basketball games. Yesterday we all went to their little country Pentecostal church. I really love going to this church with them because the people truly exemplify what it means to be a Christian. They really love everyone there and they show such joy at what the Lord is doing. They don't claim a thing for themselves, but know that it is the Lord's work and that He has blessed them with far more than anyone deserves. They are simple people and I know that they don't have the things that other people do but they take pride in what they do have and are so thankful for their lives and the work God is doing in them. They have even encouraged me to get up and sing several times and I know that even if I sounded worse than a dying cat up there, they would still tell me that I was doing a great thing by singing for the Lord.

The sermon was about how God can do the impossible and that if we only believe, nothing is beyond His power. Now, I know that God has a plan and that sometimes, even when we want the impossible to happen, it doesn't because there is a better reason for the other thing to happen. For example, I believe that in Granny's death my family has become closer to one another and we cherish the time that we spend. My Aunt, Uncle, and cousin Daniel have come around more and I can tell that Daniel has really changed and that he is glad for all the time that he can spend with his family. But, with that realization, I also know that God really can do amazing things, more than anyone can explain. Things that seem utterly impossible. I may think it's impossible that I could possibly pass my final HESI on the first try, but I know that God can do it and I have faith that it will happen. I'm going to do my part and study my butt off, but I just know that God has not brought me this far only for me fail. I am confident in the Lord!

Country Christmas

Okay, well I know I'm a little late in writing this...just like my last posts, but I promise I'll try and do better from now on!

My last Christmas break was great and I had a great time with my family and friends! I left Springfield after youth to drive down to Porum, OK. It was one heck of a long drive and I was tired after having an exciting youth Christmas party, but I made it there at around midnight and then immediately fell asleep once my head hit the pillow of my cousin's bed. The next day, Staci and I were awoken by our usual 8am wake up call from my uncle before he went to work. That morning was when the feuding began...my mom thought she would do a nice thing for my grandpa and get the application he needed to fill out to get my grandma's life insurance check sent to him. She started filling it out for him, but obviously couldn't finish it because he had to sign it and she needed a death certificate to attach to it. So mom called Aunt Judy, who had all the copies of the death certificate, and asked if she could have one for the papers. Well, Judy got it stuck in her head that because Mom was filling out the papers, that she would get the check. Duh, that's not the way it works and EVERYONE tried to tell her that...she literally called everyone in the family and no one gave her the answer she wanted, so she wouldn't give a copy to Mom. So, Mom decided to just go get a copy for herself from the Health Department that afternoon. We all lounged around a little that morning and then Staci and I had planned to go to Muskogee to finish up some Christmas shopping and get groceries that mom had forgotten to pick up. We were headed to the mall, when Staci wasn't paying close enough attention and rear-ended the truck in front of us. She's just 16 and she was scared to death and really upset, so I got to deal with that and talk to her parents. We were fine, but my uncle's truck wasn't as pretty as it was when they got it a couple months ago. :( So we went to the mall, shopped for Christmas presents, and got our nails done (she got a manicure w/ fake nails, and I got a pedicure). I got hit on by the guy that was with me and asked out for New Years..or at least that's what I think he said ;) I sadly had to decline him, but we parted as friends who will hopefully never see each other again. We ended up traveling back to Muskogee the two very next days to try and take care of stuff for Staci's wreck and pick up a few more groceries.

Most of the family was able to come out to the house at least sometime throughout the day on Christmas...Papa, Ray, Sharah, Staci, Mom, Dad, Nate, and my cousin Daniel and I were always there, but my aunt Della, her husband Sean, Elliott, Steven, Lance with his girlfriend and daughter, and my cousin Tiffany's son Clark stopped by, as well as my aunt Genny and her husband John. Aunt Judy didn't come. We exchanged gifts throughout the day and just spent time together watching movies, playing games, eating, and talking. That's what my family does best! It was a special Christmas because my cousin Daniel just graduated from Basic Training with the Army and will now start Air Ranger training back in Georgia. Instead of going home for his leave, he came to Oklahoma to see Papa and spend time with the rest of us. We all took pictures for him before he left to put in a mini digital frame my mom bought him and a photo album Ray and Sharah got him. It was a great Christmas with my family and remembering the true meaning of the season.

The next day, there was no rest for the weary and Sharah put some of us, including myself, to work outside. She wanted to make a circle drive out in front of her house, so we were setting up railroad ties to border it. This meant that we had to dig out the ground to make it all level with the blade on the tractor and our shovels. We were doing really good, until my dad was driving the tractor and trying to even out a little hill when...he snagged the propane line that wasn't buried very deep and broke it! Next thing I know, we're telling Dad to kill the tractor and Sharah goes running for the tank to turn off the gas. We had a problem. So we had to get parts and recruit some help from Papa and a family friend to help cut off the broken section of pipe and attach a new piece. Done. So then we went back to work...without the tractor. There was a bunch of slate underneath the dirt there, and it was horrific to try and break up with a shovel, so we started using a pick to bust it up. I was working the pick, then Sharah decided that she would take that over for a little bit...and I swear, not two more seconds till we hear a little crash...she had busted a hole in the sewer line that time! Luckily there was nothing running so we didn't have a nasty mess, but that was yet another repair that had to be made before we could get going on this project again! Me and Staci decided that was a good cue to leave, so we ducked back inside at that. :)

That was all for the mishaps of the week, and Mom, Dad, Nate, and I left Small-town, Oklahoma to head back up to Maryville that Saturday. It was nice when we left...like in the 60s or 70s, but when we got home...it was in the 20s and spitting snow! Plus, I was the first one home since they had to drop Nate off at work, and I arrived to an inch of ice covering our back door. Fun. I had to find the hidden basement key, go in that way, and then walk all the way back around the house with a hammer and screwdriver to get the ice chipped off! I could already tell it was going to be a good week. :( It wasn't really that bad, the weather was tolerable and I spent a lot of time hanging out with Brook and Cristy or getting things done at home. I was pretty impressed with myself on New Years Eve when I made not only brownies, but also a cheeseball and vegetable pizza. Yum! I went over to Cristy's and we went wild of course...not really, but we did use their fancy pants blender to make pina coladas. The only bad thing was that we actually put the required amount of rum in them...and you could REALLY taste it! It was a little much for our taste, so the water suited us just fine for the rest of the night. Overall, my Christmas break was amazing!! I'm really going to miss having a month off every year! :(

A Time for Thanksgiving...Part 4 (The Finale)

Well, there's just one grandparent left...Grandpa Simeroth, or Papa as we call him. He was married to my grandma for 50 long, happy years and they made a life together that was full of love for their entire family and Papa's continuing that amazing way of living.


Papa was one of 12 kids born to my great grandparents, G.G. and Great-grandpa Andrew. The Simeroths are a large, loud, extremely close Catholic family and I love them all to death! Papa was also born and raised on a farm in rural Oklahoma. He went on to the Air Force and then to college at Oklahoma State University. He and my grandma moved around a lot with their five kids when he changed jobs, and that's how my mom got here and met my dad. Papa used to run the college farm for Northwest and Dad worked for him when he was in college, then Mom met Dad there. The Simeroths moved again when my mom was in college (it was too cold for them, lol), so Mom stayed here when they moved back to Warner. Papa retired from working on a man's ranch in 2001, but that hasn't stopped him from working and now he works at the Warner schools as the maintenance man/electrician. Honestly, he can't not work or be doing something, that's just the way he is.

Papa, Granny, and the kids

Papa is an amazing, loving, hard-working man. I love to visit him whenever I can and I know that he cares for all of us so much and that he's very proud of me. He is a strong advocate for education and really wants everyone to go to college and believes that somehow everyone should be able to go. That's why he's so proud of me and that I will be the first of his grandchildren to graduate from college. I want to instill that in my kids and just be proud of all their accomplishments and whatever they do. He also has a strong faith and is a wonderful Christian role model. I know some people think differently of Catholics, but Papa is a great Christian example to me and others in our family. He believes that it is because of Christ that we are all saved and given new life and a place for us in heaven. I admired his strength when Granny passed away and I know that part of that strength came from his faith. The Simeroths have never had a lot of money, so they know that just being together is the most important. I learned that from Papa and I truly believe it does not matter if you get each other gifts or any of that, but it's truly being together and loving one another that is the main thing. Papa is also a hard-working man and he shows that work ethic to the whole family and we all get that characteristic from him. Since Papa is now the only grandpa I have and really the only lucid grandparent at all, I cherish my time with him so much more and love him so much. He is a wonderful man and I love spending time with him and learning from him.

A Time for Thanksgiving...Part 3

Okay, I realize that I really should have done all this BEFORE Thanksgiving and not after when it's Christmas season. But oh well, I like to post this on here so I can go back and look at it and remember my amazing grandparents.

So now, I'm going to move on to my grandma, Katie Simeroth. Like the rest of my family, she was a wonderful, hard working, & stubborn (at times) woman!


Granny, as we called her, grew up in Denver, Colorado and was one of nine children in their family. She faced some hardships in her younger life because her father was a very angry man sometimes, and actually we think he may have suffered from bipolar disorder. Her mother died when she was in her young adult years and her dad then remarried, but she dealt with that adjustment very well. She also had to deal with my grandpa being away in the military for training with the Air Force. He came home one weekend before Christmas, they were married and had a two day honeymoon, then they moved to Florida where my grandpa was stationed. They had five kids, including my mom and were married for fifty years in January 2008, a month before she passed away. The picture above is my grandma, grandpa, aunt Genny (the older kid), and my mom (the baby).

As you all know, my grandma passed away on February 21, 2008. I'm sure you all know the story, but again, I'm recording this more for my own benefit than for you guys. I remember that week so well. It was right at the end of my three day weekend at home for President's Day and we got a phone call at our house on Sunday night at about 10:30. I remember thinking that it was odd that we would get a call that late and immediately the thought that popped into my head was that something was wrong with Grandma...Barnes. Well, after they got off the phone, my dad came to see if I was awake, which I was, and he said that Granny had a stroke and was in the ICU in Oklahoma City. Granny Simeroth, not my grandma Barnes. Mom was crying in the living room when I got out of bed and she told me the real story. It wasn't just a simple stroke, Mom said that she had a hemorrhagic stroke and she was bleeding into her brain at the brainstem. Granny was unconscious and was only breathing because of a ventilator. She would die once they took her off the ventilator and the family knew that was what she would want, so they were going to turn off the ventilator the next morning. I was shocked. It had never crossed my mind that Granny could die now. I knew she was not as well as she once was, but I didn't know that she had been having mini-strokes and problems. I just couldn't believe that Granny was going to die.

We decided that Mom, Dad, and Nate were going to drive to OKC the next morning and that I should drive back to Springfield then too. I did NOT want to go back to school. All I wanted was to see Granny before she died and be with my family, but I had to take a test on that Wednesday. I was miserable when I came back to school. I was just trying to go through the motions, figure out a way to get out of there as quick as possible, and trying not to cry all the time. I can think of instances when all I could do was lay on the ground in my room with the door shut and cry my eyes out. I was crying to God to give me peace and comfort and help me to get through all this. They turned off Granny's ventilator on Monday after my parents got there, but Granny was still breathing. I kept in constant contact with my family about Granny and they told me when her breathing started to slow and become more labored on Tuesday afternoon. I had to talk with all my teachers to try and get class and clinicals worked out so I could go to OKC as soon as possible and they weren't quite understanding or wanting to let me go, but they let me leave Wednesday mid morning after taking my test. I immediately left to go to Oklahoma City and drove as fast as I thought I could get away with and it actually went by pretty quick. I got to the hospital that afternoon and Grandma was in their End of Life room. Most of the family was there or had been there and were just sitting in that room on the couch and chairs just talking and trying to get through this. I remember Granny laying there in bed and just looking like she was straining for every breath, but otherwise she looked just the same as always. My godmother, aunt, Mom, and myself decided to clean Granny up and give her a bath. I felt like that was finally something I could do to help my family. So we got her all cleaned up and she seemed calmer already and her breathing had periods where she would just stop breathing altogether. We all floated in and out of the room and the waiting room down the hall, but Papa only left when we were cleaning her, then came right back. Mom came and got everyone out of the waiting room when Granny's breathing started to slow even more and we knew it wouldn't be much longer. We all said the Rosary prayer, read some Psalms, and parts of the Gospels and New Testament. It was so meaningful for our family to all be together when the time came and she went very peacefully. I almost didn't believe it at first because she was breathing and then she just stopped and we all waited to see if she would start again, but she didn't. Granny passed away shortly after midnight on that Thursday and I knew it was by the grace of God that I was able to be there for her and my family. But I know that God also meant for me to be there for myself, because I don't think I could have gotten over it had I not been there.


Granny was a rather stubborn woman at times, like so many in my family and she couldn't keep her nose out of anything. I guess I'm a little like her that way, cause I always like to know what's going on. She loved us grandkids like crazy and definitely spoiled us a little bit, not as much with gifts but she spoiled us by sometimes letting us get away with things (especially me and my brother cause we lived so far away). She was also the nagger of the family and my mom is sometimes a little like that too, but she never let things really bother her too much. She loved to laugh and did it frequently whenever one of us did something stupid, or in making a little jab at someone else. Granny was the Canasta Queen and we always accused her of cheating at that and Dominos, but she would always just laugh and say we were jealous. That's one thing I miss, is Granny's laugh and all her funny comments. She was a tough lady and never gave up trying to do things on her own, even in her last few months when she was mainly using a walker and wheelchair. I loved her so much and it still hurts sometimes to think of all she missed and how suddenly she was gone, but I'm so glad that she never suffered and this is the way she wanted to go. She was tired of not being able to do things on her own and did not want it to get any worse, so this is the way she wanted it and I'm so grateful that the Lord took her to be with Him.