February

Well, I haven't posted anything all month, but there's kind of a reason.

February has become one of those bittersweet months for me.

Bitter: My amazing, kind, funny, wonderful, loving Granny Simeroth passed away three years ago (Feb. 21). I sometimes still find myself forgetting she's gone and then missing her terribly. I still want to write Carl and Katie anytime I send something to my grandpa. I still have their home phone listed under Granny & Papa in my phone. I love her so much, that will never change.

Also a bitter moment is that a little over a year ago (Feb. 11) Grandma Barnes also passed away, but hers is a different kind of bitter. Yes, sad that she's gone, but worse, I think, that she was not able to live out her last years in peace. I just hope that somewhere in her mind she was able to remember the good times in her life... and that perhaps I was a part of some of them. I still think of her everytime I look at the old candy dish I have of hers. Fond memories!

Sweet: I've been surrounded by blessings and celebrations this month too. Celebrating friendships, birthdays, and exciting changes in friends' lives. I've been so blessed in my job and that my bosses think I'm doing well, even if it's really hard sometimes, it's a real blessing.

What is the world coming to?

Saw an article online today on this...

Wow. What is the world coming too. Just what we need when I've got patients I take care of that are 600-700 pounds. Pizza and cookies. Real great. Not saying that I might not indulge, but still. What's next... fried beef burritos and chocolate cheesecake?

WOW!

This weekend I went to a youth conference with the middle & high school youth. I was an adult. Ha! That still throws me off every time! Anyway, the main speaker was Shane Claiborne. He was amazing! He kind of reminded me of Allison's cousin, Phil, he looked a lot like him. He had a great message to share that if we all really tried to live and love like Jesus, think of what this world could be like. No more wars, no homelessness or those who have more than they could EVER need and just down the street, those that are dying because they don't have one coat or haven't eaten all day. He really threw how twisted our American culture can be in our faces. He gave a lot of hard hitting quotes from some amazing people (sorry I can't remember who said what right now). One of which was, "If you have two coats you have stolen one because someone else doesn't have one to wear." Wow. It reminded me of how materialistic we all are. How we want the biggest and best and most out of this world. We want to have the best and newest gadgets, more clothes than we really need, to gorge ourself on more food than we could eat, etc. Made me think. What could I do or give up for those that have none?

Another story he gave was in his community in Philly, he was walking down the street and saw a prostitute on his way to the store. On his way back from the store, he saw her again, huddled in an alley, shivering from the cold and crying. He and his friend went and comforted her, offered her to come to their house to keep warm for a while, where she told them her story. She came back a few weeks or months later, on fire for the Lord again and shining with His love. When he was talking with a friend about it the guy said this, "Jesus never hung out with prostitutes... because he never saw them as a prostitute, he saw them as a lost child." I thought that was amazing. And it reminded me of work, particularly about the prisoners that I sometimes take care of. Most of these guys are nice and polite, but I've been too nervous or just don't want to take the time to talk with them much. I need to treat them as Jesus would, like a friend, like I would anyone else. I need to not look at the needle in their eye when I have a plank in mine.

He's just done amazing things, worked with Mother Theresa in Calcutta, traveled to Africa and Iraq, and a lot more. Look him up.

Thankful

Being that it was the season of THANKSgiving. Here are a few things I'm thankful for... (in no particular order)

• My amazing wonderful family
• My fabulous friends in Springfield and getting to live right next to and with my fave people
• High school friends and the fact that it seems like no time has passed at all when we get back together
• All the members of my extended/adopted family - The Garrett, Kinman, Spalding, Bates/Dieke, Adams, and Dobyns families
• My job - it may drive me crazy, tire me out, be incredibly frustrating & intense sometimes, but I could never do anything else. I know this is what I am supposed to do the rest of my life.
• My coworkers who I absolutely love to laugh with! They are so awesome!
• Everyone involved with Youth at Kings Way - even most of the kids :)
• Bearcat football
• Green bean casserole - YUM!
• Having a garage in these upcoming cold months
• My adopted niece, Scout
• My newfound love for coffee since working night shift
• Oklahoma
• God's constant love and presence
• Sweet tea
• Antwone
• My bed - it's the most comfortable ever!
• Gloves - need I say more... they keep my constantly cold hands warm and also make it so I don't have to touch nasty things with my bare hands
• Netflix - couldn't work nights without it, I'd be bored out of my mind watching infomercials
• Music, especially Christmas music
• My Chi
• Raspberry margaritas

I have so much more to be thankful for, but these are just a few... I'm so blessed!

Life

Well, I've had a busy, but mostly fun last couple weeks!

Been working... A LOT it seems... which has been frustrating, exciting, joyous, and sad all at the same time. I've been able to take care of some great patients who are so sweet... and some that are not so much. I've been involved right in on the action with 2 code blues. Which were both scary and sad. I was right there, which is really intense. I know I said that in some strange way I want to have my own code... but I'm really not looking forward to it.

Got to hang out with some of my nursing classmates, which was great catching up with them and hanging out drinking and playing games. Went to dinner at Olive Garden with the gals from work. I'm so lucky that I work with such amazing people! They keep me sane on my horrible nights at work. And just last night I went to the DARIUS RUCKER concert with Alli and Rob!! It was a great time with my brother husband and sister wife. :) I love Darius so much! And of course hanging out with my very best friends!

I Need a Change...

I think I need some kind of change. I'm feeling like my life is stagnant, not going anywhere. I need some excitement. Something to happen. To meet someone new. Something to change. I do the same things with the same people all the time. I need something to change. Not that I don't love them, but how am I supposed to meet someone new. Someone to love me. I want a change. I don't know how though, and I guess deep down I'm a little scared too. I need to become braver. I need to take more risks. Where to start?

Another Summer, Another Hayfield

Oooklahoma!!!!

I spent a week in Oklahoma and had a great time with my family! I spent most of the time in the hayfield raking, mowing, riding with Papa or Staci, working on the mowers, and transporting from field to field. I got hot, greasy, and dirty, but loved it (most of the time). I always feel like I grow into a stronger, more independent woman when I go down there, because there's usually no one right around to help you, so you have to fix a problem on your own. I mean, I learned all the in's & out's of servicing the mowers before you start (greasing it, changing out the blades, checking & refilling the oil, etc.), tried to break off a bearing on the baler, and helped break down a tire (to get the tube inside out) that had a hole in it. Me. I also got some manual labor in when I helped out at the store carrying 50 lb. sacks of feed. 50 pounds. Me. Awkward, skinny, tall, lanky me. I'm not useless, or incapable. I can do a lot more than I think I can... I just have to try.

When I wasn't in the hayfield, I went with Staci to shop for school clothes... talk about a long afternoon. I also went to church with the fam and had a little time to hang out with everyone back at the house after a long day. I always love getting back to my farm roots & not worrying about anything... it's always refreshing, even if the work is hard. Wouldn't change it for the world!